I'm Not Here

November 14^th, 2009

But I’m not there either.

Not dancing out in Spaceland

Not traversing the trails near home

Not assisting films

Not studying rocks

Not swimming like when I was young

Nor running on Payne’s legacy

Nor having pizza after church on a Saturday night

Nor biking with my mom

Nor volunteering at a nursing home

Nor leading a film club

Nor exploring another country

Nor marrying

Nor loving life.

I compute

I type

I stare

I feed cats

I avoid conflict

I avoid love?

I eat

I sleep

I lie,

waiting.

For what?

Chapters flown past.

Other stories progress where mine ended,

And others that might have joined are given away.

Stuck in the blank pages between Parts 3 and 4.

Blank.

Turning to progress

I find nothing but notes for future chapters Sixteen,

Twenty,

And Twenty-three.

Where is the writer?

Has he not been paid?

Hadn’t he ample ink? Time Enough?

Encouragement from his publisher and peers?

The presses stand cold.

Waiting for the lever to be thrown,

But a spark to begin the long night’s printing.

Will the pen be lifted in inspiration before it’s too late to make tomorrow’s edition?